Well it came as no surprise to me that the new full length mirror scares me to death. I was afraid to look at myself....but I knew I had to face it. I was ashamed at what I saw. I am ashamed of so many things after looking in that mirror. I'm ashamed of what I've let my body become, I'm ashamed that I just KEEP letting it happen, I'm ashamed that I didn't care enough about myself to stop this before I got to the point, I'm ashamed that I don't recognize that person I see in that mirror. It's a harsh reality check. I am continuously making excuses for myself. "Ah, it's not THAT bad" " I will just wear different clothes, it's the clothes making me look that bad" "I'll make a change tomorrow"
I honestly, don't know what it's going to take, if crying every time I need to go somewhere that I have to wear real clothes, or changing the angles of pictures I take of myself (from the neck up) so that you can't see all of my fat face. I am so disgusted every time I see myself in my pictures, I cringe every time my mom gets her video camera out. I am just so tired of it. Ugh!!!
On a happier note, my youngest son Drew, was baptized on Mothers Day! He didn't care much for our pastor holding him.....he made quite a fuss :) but, it was still a great day. We had lunch with two of my grandmas, my parents, and two of my aunts. Then home to spend the rest of the day with my boys!
