Happy Mothers Day! Hope all the moms had a great day! For Mother's Day, I received a full length mirror. Something I had been wanting for a while. You know, for all those ootd pics! Haha yeah right. I'm a SAHM my outfits don't get very exciting! But nonetheless I wanted a mirror. I can only see from basically mid stomach up in my bathroom mirror, and same with my dresser.
Well it came as no surprise to me that the new full length mirror scares me to death. I was afraid to look at myself....but I knew I had to face it. I was ashamed at what I saw. I am ashamed of so many things after looking in that mirror. I'm ashamed of what I've let my body become, I'm ashamed that I just KEEP letting it happen, I'm ashamed that I didn't care enough about myself to stop this before I got to the point, I'm ashamed that I don't recognize that person I see in that mirror. It's a harsh reality check. I am continuously making excuses for myself. "Ah, it's not THAT bad" " I will just wear different clothes, it's the clothes making me look that bad" "I'll make a change tomorrow"
I honestly, don't know what it's going to take, if crying every time I need to go somewhere that I have to wear real clothes, or changing the angles of pictures I take of myself (from the neck up) so that you can't see all of my fat face. I am so disgusted every time I see myself in my pictures, I cringe every time my mom gets her video camera out. I am just so tired of it. Ugh!!!
On a happier note, my youngest son Drew, was baptized on Mothers Day! He didn't care much for our pastor holding him.....he made quite a fuss :) but, it was still a great day. We had lunch with two of my grandmas, my parents, and two of my aunts. Then home to spend the rest of the day with my boys!