Thursday, January 17, 2013

10 Months, and Weightloss

Today my little Drew is 10 months old! I can't believe it! Time seems to fly even faster with the second baby! I have started planning his birthday party! He was born on St. Patrick's Day, so guess what the theme of the party is! :) I figured I would get the St. Patty's Day theme outta my head on the first birthday, because for this one...let's face it...he's not going to care :) We celebrated his 10 month bday by taking him to his ENT follow up! I'm happy to report that his hearing was perfect(always has been) No fluid in either ear, and no infection! YAY!!!! this is such a big deal for us! I'm super excited that everything went well for him today.

Today, this is kinda how I'm feeling:
I really just want to eat my weight in junk food today! Yikes, that would be a lot of freaking junk food! I crawled ran on the treadmill for the 3rd time this week. IT. HURT. My shins were burning....all the muscles in my lower legs, and clear to my feet were burning! I went even slower than usual because I had to slow down to a snails pace about 45 times! It was no fun! I pushed through with the help of this guy....

I'm all about my old school faves when trying to push through on the treadmill.....but I'm a country girl at I usually rely on Jason, Blake, Dierks, Eric, Kip, Justin, Luke and Florida Georgia Line to get me through :)Being able to listen to my tunes, is totally what makes me WANT to go run. Whatever gets me moving, right?!

To all of you ladies who are on a weight loss journey like do you get past the feeling of looking in the mirror and saying "yep, still fat" or do you even have that feeling? I know I'm moving in the right direction....but I am just so disgusted with myself! I know, I should have had this feeling while gaining this weight but now I just can't stand it. I struggle everyday with I've become obsessed with it! I have no patience, and I'm more embarrassed now more than ever, about letting this happen! It's like all of the sudden, I'm aware I'm fat? Or maybe my mind has just finally accepted it. I don't know what it is, but I am so ready to change my life! I wanna be skinny more than I wanna eat!

This morning my hubs and I were talking....and I said "if it weren't for junk food, I'd be skinny" meaning....I don't eat processed foods, I eat lean met, I don't like butter, ....ya know stuff like that. He said to me "the majority of  your problem is activity. You think you do a lot during the day, but you don't. You are sitting most of the day. It's just the nature of your job" I wanted to cry and smack him all at the same time. I was embarrassed, and sad, and just kinda humiliated all together. He's right, but I guess I'm having a lot of reality checks these past few weeks. I'm in two rooms all there aren't many places for me to walk. I am up to change diapers, make lunch, and snacks, clean up....but the majority of the day, I'm sitting on the floor with the kids, or sitting at the desk. I need to think of ways to become more active during the day. I don't know why it took me this long to get so embarrassed about what I've become! I guess when you're at your lowest point, the good news is, the only direction left to go is up! I will go drown myself in self-pity now! LOL


  1. I'm a country girl too but damn I love me some Usher!!

  2. Even though I have lost some weight, I'm still not at goal weight- but I still have days where I feel fat! I probably always will, it's just a girl thing, hehe.
    Also, like your issue might be activity, mine is eatin right. I can workout until I'm blue in the face, but if I don't eat right, it's really done nothing for me. Where on the flip side, I could eat great and NOT workout and manage to lose weight. So I try to workout and eat good 80% of the time. ;)